13 · Sexuality, Marriage & the Body
"You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies." — 1 Corinthians 6:19–20
Few subjects today carry more heat, more politics, and more genuine pain than sexuality and gender — and few are more personal. These are not abstractions to be won in an argument; they touch our own bodies, our children, our friends, and the people in our pews. So this chapter asks for unusual care.
Consistent with the rest of this book, it tries to do two things. First, to declare what Christians across the traditions can affirm together — the dignity of every person, the goodness of the body, the call to holiness and self-giving love, and the absolute renunciation of cruelty. Second, to discern honestly: on the questions where sincere, Bible-believing Christians have come to different conclusions, it lays out the main faithful views as fairly as it can, rather than pretending the disagreement away or pretending it does not matter.
Declare
Where we are
Western culture has moved, in a generation, to treat sexual expression and self-defined identity as central to human fulfillment — while, paradoxically, commodifying sex and fueling an epidemic of pornography, exploitation, and loneliness. Into this, the Church has too often responded with either capitulation or cruelty: either quietly adopting the culture's script, or singling out gay and transgender people for a contempt it never aimed at the gossip, the glutton, or the divorced.
Meanwhile, Christians who equally love Scripture and equally love their LGBTQ+ neighbors have, after prayer and study, reached genuinely different conclusions about marriage and sexual ethics. Pretending otherwise — on any side — does not serve the truth. What the gospel does not permit is for that disagreement to be carried out with hatred. However one understands God's will here, the people involved are image-bearers to be loved, not enemies to be defeated.
What Scripture says
Our bodies are not our own to do with as we please; they belong to God and are temples of his Spirit.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20NIVFrom the beginning, Scripture presents the union of man and woman in marriage as a creational pattern, which Jesus affirms.
Genesis 2:24NIV Matthew 19:4-6NIVSingleness is held up — by Jesus and Paul — as a genuine gift and calling, not a deprivation, and a sign of the age to come.
Matthew 19:11-12NIV 1 Corinthians 7:32-35NIVMarriage itself is finally a sign pointing beyond itself — to the love of Christ for his Church.
Ephesians 5:31-32NIVAnd the call to sexual holiness always comes wrapped in grace: the gospel meets us as we are, names sin in all of us, and refuses to condemn while it calls us to new life.
John 8:10-11NIV 1 Corinthians 6:9-11NIVDiscern
Here are the questions on which faithful Christians most deeply disagree. Each view below is held by serious believers who love God and Scripture; each is presented in its own best light, with a caution.
The historic / traditional view
Held by the Roman Catholic and Orthodox churches and many Protestants: marriage is the covenant union of a man and a woman, and sexual intimacy belongs within it; same-sex sexual relationships fall outside God's design. This view appeals to the creation pattern, Jesus' words on marriage, the consistent witness of Scripture and tradition, and calls all unmarried people — gay or straight — to costly, grace-filled celibacy. Caution: it must be lived with deep love and honesty, never with the cruelty or hypocrisy that has wounded so many.
The affirming view
Held by some Protestant churches and theologians: committed, covenantal same-sex marriages can be holy and blessed by God. This view argues that the texts addressing same-sex behavior speak to exploitation and idolatry rather than faithful partnership, that the gospel's trajectory includes the once-excluded, and that the same fruit of the Spirit is evident in such marriages. Caution: it must take seriously the weight of Scripture and the near-unanimous historic witness it departs from, rather than simply following the culture.
Living together amid disagreement
Many Christians, whatever their conclusion, insist the first task is to love real people well — listening before speaking, repenting of contempt, and refusing to let this one issue eclipse a person's whole humanity or the wider gospel. Caution: love does not require pretending the disagreement is trivial; it requires holding conviction and compassion together.
Emphasis on the givenness of the body
Stresses that we are created male and female, that the body is a good gift to be received rather than overridden, and urges caution about irreversible interventions, especially for the young. Caution: must be paired with real compassion for those experiencing genuine distress, not used as a weapon.
Emphasis on pastoral accompaniment
Stresses walking with people — especially those suffering gender dysphoria — with patience, humility, and care, resisting easy answers and protecting the vulnerable from harm and rejection. Caution: compassion must still be guided by truth and wisdom, not by cultural pressure alone.
Held in humility
Many acknowledge these are relatively new questions the Church is still working through prayerfully, that the science and the souls involved are complex, and that humility, gentleness, and protection of vulnerable people must mark our posture. Caution: humility is not indifference; it still seeks God's good design and the person's true flourishing.
Where there is no debate
However you weigh the questions above, the gospel forbids cruelty. Mockery, hatred, violence, and the singling out of some sins while excusing our own are contrary to Christ (Matthew 7:3-5NIV). And on the other side, "love" that flatters and never speaks truth is not the love of Christ either. The hard, narrow road is grace and truth together (John 1:14NIV) — the road Jesus himself walked.
Reflect
'Honor God with your bodies.' Setting aside the debates for a moment, what would it look like for you — single or married, whatever your story — to offer your own body and sexuality to God as a gift to be stewarded in holiness?
Think of a specific LGBTQ+ person in your life or community. Whatever your convictions, how have they actually been treated by the Church you know — and how might Christ be calling you to love them better?
Self-check
What can Christians who disagree about sexual ethics still affirm together?
Why does this chapter present multiple views instead of declaring one?
Go deeper
- Read next: Life & Death: Bioethics at the Edges.
- Connect back: This chapter rests on Made in the Image of God and the care for the vulnerable in Power, Abuse & Accountability.
- Study well: Read the strongest, most charitable representatives of each view rather than only their critics, and search the Scriptures for yourself (Acts 17:11NIV).
- Scripture for a week: Matthew 19:1–12; 1 Corinthians 6–7.
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